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Opinion

The Road Less Taken: More fluidity, parents, and “Just say Know”
Jessica Alexander

September 8th, 2018


This article is more than 6 years old.

Fluid play: he laughed at Daddy’s toy car collection and then he played Mario Kart (photo: Pixabay)

I recently contributed to the LEGO Play Well Report, a study of 13,000 people in nine countries, which found that families who play for five or more hours together a week were happier than those who played for less.

I concur that Denmark’s belief in the importance of play is one of the main reasons why it has been voted among the happiest countries in the world for over 40 years in a row.

Seamless, shared, savvy
What I found most interesting about the report was a new kind of play that could change the way we view technology. ‘Fluid play’ consists of overlapping experiences that bring the real world, imaginary play and digital experiences together as one. Essentially, it is the child’s ability to move between the digital play space and physical play spaces seamlessly.

The report reveals that the increasing integration of digital layers doesn’t come at the expense of more traditional shared play as many have feared. In fact, learning skills like problem solving, creativity, communication and collaboration are still at play in digital spaces – we just need to be a bit more aware of what is happening in these worlds.

Since more than half of the children in the report still prefer playing with their parents, the takeaway is: let’s be informed, not afraid of fluid play.

Turn on, tune in
“Kids today see the digital and real worlds as part of one interconnected play space,” contends Dr Elena Hoicka, a senior psychology in education lecturer at the University of Bristol.

“To make the most of their time playing together, parents need to adopt this fluid mindset too.”

The fear that most parents experience is often driven by their lack of experience in the digital world and their inability to join in with children when they are using technology in play.

Be a part, not apart
Most of us didn’t grow up with digital play. Therefore, we often worry that technology makes play a passive experience for our kids. We think it stifles creativity and imagination and isolates them from families and friends. While these may be legitimate concerns, to a child the digital space is seen as just another play space.

Parents need to understand the different types of play that are out there and learn how to trigger more fluid play together.

Playing online games together and using the many apps designed to help parents and children engage in fluid play is a good start. These are examples of how, as parents, we can be a part of their digital lives, not apart from them.

Strike with app-titude
So, the next time you see your child playing on a device and your first reaction is to feel concerned, sit down and get interested. Observe what they like and see if you can suggest some games or apps you can be a part of too.

Just because these aren’t things we are familiar with doesn’t mean we can’t learn. Remember – the happiness benefits for families playing together are still there, whether it’s online or offline.

Follow the advice of play advocate Cliff Jones, a lecturer at the University of Sussex: “Don’t say ‘No’; just say ‘Know’.”

About

Jessica Alexander

Jessica is a bestselling US author, Danish parenting expert, columnist, speaker, and cultural researcher. Her work has been featured in TIME, Huffington Post, The Atlantic and The NY Times, among others. She graduated with a BS in psychology and speaks four languages. She currently lives in Italy with her Danish husband and two children. Visit Jessica’s site here.


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A survey carried out by Megafon for TV2 has found that 71 percent of parents have handed over children to daycare in spite of them being sick.

Moreover, 21 percent of those surveyed admitted to medicating their kids with paracetamol, such as Panodil, before sending them to school.

The FOLA parents’ organisation is shocked by the findings.

“I think it is absolutely crazy. It simply cannot be that a child goes to school sick and plays with lots of other children. Then we are faced with the fact that they will infect the whole institution,” said FOLA chair Signe Nielsen.

Pill pushers
At the Børnehuset daycare institution in Silkeborg a meeting was called where parents were implored not to bring their sick children to school.

At Børnehuset there are fears that parents prefer to pack their kids off with a pill without informing teachers.

“We occasionally have children who that they have had a pill for breakfast,” said headteacher Susanne Bødker. “You might think that it is a Panodil more than a vitamin pill, if it is a child who has just been sick, for example.”

Parents sick and tired
Parents, when confronted, often cite pressure at work as a reason for not being able to stay at home with their children.

Many declare that they simply cannot take another day off, as they are afraid of being fired.

Allan Randrup Thomsen, a professor of virology at KU, has heavily criticised the parents’ actions, describing the current situation as a “vicious circle”.

“It promotes the spread of viruses, and it adds momentum to a cycle where parents are pressured by high levels of sick-leave. If they then choose to send the children to daycare while they are still recovering, they keep the epidemic going in daycares, and this in turn puts a greater burden on the parents.”