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Epic sports draw: Penis versus Rectum

Christian Wenande
April 27th, 2017


This article is more than 7 years old.

Danish Cup draw sure to bring out a few laughs … and perhaps some sore players

A bit of a giggle (photo: Aviano Air Base)

This year’s Danish Cup has reached the semi-final stage, and many are already looking forward to a classic final as eternal rivals FC Copenhagen and Brøndby have avoided each other in the draw. But a different rivalry is getting all the press right now.

When the football association DBU revealed the early qualifying round draw for nest year’s edition yesterday, the internet in Denmark caught fire at what must be one of the most interesting, if not amusing draws in Danish history.

Brace yourself for the epic derby that is … Lem vs Tarm. Or in English … Penis vs Rectum.

READ MORE: Sports News in Brief: Danish swimming queen calls it a day

Rectum hosting
It may not sound like anything out of the ordinary to the outsider, but those with knowledge of Danish might appreciate the sordid undertones.

Lem has a double meaning in Danish. It actually means outer extremities, such as an arm or leg, but the word is also commonly used to describe a penis. Meanwhile, the word tarm means gut or intestine, but it is also used to describe the word for rectum (endetarm).

The match, which will see the two lower league sides clash in a true local west-Jutland derby (the two areas are just a few kilometres apart), will take place on May 2 at 19:00 at Tarm Stadium.

But if you do decide to take in the historic match, don’t expect the football to be scintillating. Lem plays in Serie 3, while Tarm kicks about in Serie 4 – which is seven flights below the Superliga. Still, you might catch a few lovely ‘cock-ups’ and maybe a good ‘come-from-behind’ victory.


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Moreover, 21 percent of those surveyed admitted to medicating their kids with paracetamol, such as Panodil, before sending them to school.

The FOLA parents’ organisation is shocked by the findings.

“I think it is absolutely crazy. It simply cannot be that a child goes to school sick and plays with lots of other children. Then we are faced with the fact that they will infect the whole institution,” said FOLA chair Signe Nielsen.

Pill pushers
At the Børnehuset daycare institution in Silkeborg a meeting was called where parents were implored not to bring their sick children to school.

At Børnehuset there are fears that parents prefer to pack their kids off with a pill without informing teachers.

“We occasionally have children who that they have had a pill for breakfast,” said headteacher Susanne Bødker. “You might think that it is a Panodil more than a vitamin pill, if it is a child who has just been sick, for example.”

Parents sick and tired
Parents, when confronted, often cite pressure at work as a reason for not being able to stay at home with their children.

Many declare that they simply cannot take another day off, as they are afraid of being fired.

Allan Randrup Thomsen, a professor of virology at KU, has heavily criticised the parents’ actions, describing the current situation as a “vicious circle”.

“It promotes the spread of viruses, and it adds momentum to a cycle where parents are pressured by high levels of sick-leave. If they then choose to send the children to daycare while they are still recovering, they keep the epidemic going in daycares, and this in turn puts a greater burden on the parents.”