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Most Danes would keep their mother-in-laws

Christian Wenande
February 3rd, 2017


This article is more than 7 years old.

It’s particularly the ladies who carry a chip on their shoulders

For better … or worse (photo: Pixabay)

“Toilets are like mothers-in-law: the farther away the better.” – Korean proverb.

Ah, the old mother-in-law jokes. There are plenty of them and they seem know no boundaries, extending across borders and cultures as seamlessly as a stocking.

They are abundant in Denmark too, but perhaps opposed to many other nations (or maybe it’s all just hot air), most Danes would rather keep their mother-in-law situation as it is, given the choice.

According to a new YouGov survey conducted on behalf of BTMX, if they were given a choice, 64 percent of Danes would keep their current mothers-in-law rather than getting a replacement.

It’s uncertain whether the thought behind the answer was down to current mother-in-laws being ‘a known quantity’ compared to a replacement, but the survey showed that only 8 percent were completely in agreement with the statement: “I would change my mother-in-law if it were possible.”

Rodney Dangerfield and Les Dawson would be turning in their graves.

Some 11 percent said they partially agreed with the statement, 13 percent were ambivalent to the statement and 3 percent were apparently so flabbergasted that they declined to answer. Perhaps their mothers-in-law were standing next to them.

READ MORE: Mio Dio! Danes can learn to gesticulate like Italians

Women leading the way
Still, according to Per Schultz Jørgensen, a pensioned professor and child and family researcher, it was disconcerting that 19 percent of Danes would consider getting rid of their mothers-in-law.

“Every fifth person has trouble with their mother-in-law, and that’s a relatively high figure I believe,” Jørgensen, told Metroxpress newspaper.

“The mother-in-law is often a little out of bounds and has always been the one that meddles too much in their children’s relationships. I some families she can be a source of irritation to the point that her behaviour is destructive to a good relationship.”

Jørgensen said that the bog problem with mothers-in-law is that they often get too involved in situations without daughters and sons finding it to be problematic – and meanwhile negativity is building up in their partners, who don’t find it acceptable.

Jørgensen also said that it’s mostly women who carry the most aggression about mothers-in-law around on their shoulders, something the survey also revealed.

“Boys and mothers are a special, intricate combination,” Torben Bechmann Jensen, a social psychologist at the Department for Psychology at the University of Copenhagen, told Metroxpress.

“Mothers want very much to protect their sons and give them special care. Mother-in-laws, for instance, have a tough time figuring out that her role is in life as a house mother vanishes when the son get a girlfriend or moves out.”


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A survey carried out by Megafon for TV2 has found that 71 percent of parents have handed over children to daycare in spite of them being sick.

Moreover, 21 percent of those surveyed admitted to medicating their kids with paracetamol, such as Panodil, before sending them to school.

The FOLA parents’ organisation is shocked by the findings.

“I think it is absolutely crazy. It simply cannot be that a child goes to school sick and plays with lots of other children. Then we are faced with the fact that they will infect the whole institution,” said FOLA chair Signe Nielsen.

Pill pushers
At the Børnehuset daycare institution in Silkeborg a meeting was called where parents were implored not to bring their sick children to school.

At Børnehuset there are fears that parents prefer to pack their kids off with a pill without informing teachers.

“We occasionally have children who that they have had a pill for breakfast,” said headteacher Susanne Bødker. “You might think that it is a Panodil more than a vitamin pill, if it is a child who has just been sick, for example.”

Parents sick and tired
Parents, when confronted, often cite pressure at work as a reason for not being able to stay at home with their children.

Many declare that they simply cannot take another day off, as they are afraid of being fired.

Allan Randrup Thomsen, a professor of virology at KU, has heavily criticised the parents’ actions, describing the current situation as a “vicious circle”.

“It promotes the spread of viruses, and it adds momentum to a cycle where parents are pressured by high levels of sick-leave. If they then choose to send the children to daycare while they are still recovering, they keep the epidemic going in daycares, and this in turn puts a greater burden on the parents.”