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Teachers and parents failing at communication

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November 26th, 2014


This article is more than 10 years old.

Tone during interactions with teachers getting uglier

Parents and teachers are increasingly finding it hard to talk to one another. More and more parents are turning to the parent group Forældrerådgivningen to mediate discussions that accomplish nothing more than angry words and recriminations.

Fully four out of ten of the inquiries Forældrerådgivningen has received this year come from parents looking for help when communicating with their child’s teacher or school.  

“Parents often feel misunderstood and like they are not being heard,” Mette With Hagensen, the head of Skole og Forældre, the parent/teachers organisation, told DR.

Hot at teacher
Hagensen said that parents who feel ignored can often adopt an unpleasant tone, especially via emails and over the internet.

“In difficult cases, the dialogue can get rough,” she said. “These are our children after all, and if we feel like we are being disregarded we can react emotionally.”

Although school leaders felt that relations between the home and school are fine most of the time, some acknowledged that things can get heated now and then.

READ MORE:Teacher sick leave on the rise

“When things go wrong, we see some really nasty things,” Claus Hjortdal, the chairperson of the head teachers' association, told DR. “We have actually had teachers who succumbed to stress-related illnesses because they cannot deal with the attacks.”

Internet brave
Hjortdal said that when someone calls a teacher an ugly name on Facebook or another social media site and 50 people give it a ‘like’, it has an impact on a teacher’s psyche.

“If a parent calls a teacher a bastard during a face-to-face meeting, there is at least a chance to talk about it. On the internet, it never goes away,” he said.

Forældrerådgivningen advises parents that shouting and ugly words do not work, and that they need to be clear in their grievance with the school or teacher and what they would like the outcome of every contact to be, so that everyone involved has a clear picture of the expectations.

“We know from raising our children that not much is accomplished by screaming,” she said.


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A survey carried out by Megafon for TV2 has found that 71 percent of parents have handed over children to daycare in spite of them being sick.

Moreover, 21 percent of those surveyed admitted to medicating their kids with paracetamol, such as Panodil, before sending them to school.

The FOLA parents’ organisation is shocked by the findings.

“I think it is absolutely crazy. It simply cannot be that a child goes to school sick and plays with lots of other children. Then we are faced with the fact that they will infect the whole institution,” said FOLA chair Signe Nielsen.

Pill pushers
At the Børnehuset daycare institution in Silkeborg a meeting was called where parents were implored not to bring their sick children to school.

At Børnehuset there are fears that parents prefer to pack their kids off with a pill without informing teachers.

“We occasionally have children who that they have had a pill for breakfast,” said headteacher Susanne Bødker. “You might think that it is a Panodil more than a vitamin pill, if it is a child who has just been sick, for example.”

Parents sick and tired
Parents, when confronted, often cite pressure at work as a reason for not being able to stay at home with their children.

Many declare that they simply cannot take another day off, as they are afraid of being fired.

Allan Randrup Thomsen, a professor of virology at KU, has heavily criticised the parents’ actions, describing the current situation as a “vicious circle”.

“It promotes the spread of viruses, and it adds momentum to a cycle where parents are pressured by high levels of sick-leave. If they then choose to send the children to daycare while they are still recovering, they keep the epidemic going in daycares, and this in turn puts a greater burden on the parents.”