June 24th, 2012

Share

Men the world over are not that difficult to understand. They are biologically wired with the same instincts as their cavemen counterparts: they spot their prey and hunt it down, doing everything within their power to catch it. In modern day terms this is known as ‘the thrill of the chase’.

Danish men, though, seem to be wired slightly differently to the rest of their homo sapien counterparts. They seem to have lost their inner-caveman instincts. I blame this on their uber-evolved society, which actually encourages the genders to go against their natural hardwiring.

Now I have no aversion to asking a man out. But it seems Danish men almost expect that. And here’s where my story begins.

I met a Danish man through a group of friends. He started emailing me, and so began the extended online conversation. After a month I was bored. He was clearly interested in me and I in him, but he just never made the next move. So I did what every dating book had told me not to do: I asked him out.

While waiting for his reply the following thoughts ran through my mind: “I’ve been way too forward,” “I’ve scared him off”, “he will probably lose interest now”, and “the thrill of the chase is over”.

But I really had nothing to fear.

My pro-activeness in initiating a date had the opposite effect. He actually became even more intrigued. But from there on in, he assumed he never had to lift a finger. He became a lazy hyena and I the hunting lion.

According to the Danish kingdom’s dating rules, this is completely within the realm of the acceptable. Take one of my best friends for example. She hunted her husband for months before he finally cracked, and it was her that even initiated the first kiss!

Danish men remind me of hyenas. They want to hunt their prey, but they’re either not too sure how to go about it or are just plain lazy. They therefore end up feeding off the dregs of a kill that another animal bothered to make (most likely their best friend). This also explains why there is so much double-dipping in this country.

Danish women are ultimately the lions of the land: they spot, stalk and hunt their prey, stopping at nothing to get it. So much so that they have put the men in a passive role.

Now, I’m not backward about being forward – never have been, never will be. If I like you, you’ll know about it, and if I don’t, you’ll know that too. But I won’t chase you all the way across the Pride Lands.

Do you ever see a zebra chasing a lion? Exactly my point.